9Instead of thinking how lovely it is that twins care so much about each other, when I hear a sentiment such as the one above, I worry. I imagine the overly dependent relationship that most likely exists between the twins. What may begin as a compatible, caretaking, and harmonious twin attachment can turn into a relationship where one or both twins feels trapped and powerless and yet clueless and fearful about change. At some point, one twin usually desires more freedom […]
Tag Archives: relationships
My London Trip
Recently, I had the honor of hosting a dim sum tea for three of the most distinguished twin experts in London. Collectively these three have contributed a vast body of knowledge about twin psychology in their respective books. Audrey Sandbank, editor of Twin and Triplet Psychology and author of Twins and the Family is a psychotherapist who previously worked with twins and their families. At present, she specializes in the treatment of anxiety in children and is creating an app to […]
Maintaining Good Mental Health in Teens Leaving Home for College
An article about mental health and college students appeared in the Wall Street Journal a few months ago, just in time for the newly admitted group of college freshman and their parents to address the expected challenges encountered after children leave home. While most teens appear exhilarated about entering this new life phase, many also feel the anxiety and uncertainty that accompanies change. As reported in the article, the statistics for the treatment of anxiety and depression for college-age youngsters […]
Multiple Marital Mayhem
Suppose you are preparing to marry your soul mate, only to belatedly realize that this person is not truly yours alone? That may be because your mate’s soul is already intricately intertwined with others: a twin, triplets, perhaps a group of quadruplets. This quote is the opening paragraph of a New York Times article that appeared in the titled Wed Once, but Seeing Triple: Marrying a Twin (and Her Sister) by Alyson Krueger. Krueger writes about the sadness and confusion […]
Running Out of Time to Be a Twin
A seventeen-year-old fraternal twin girl whom I will call Mia contacted me to talk about the challenges she and her sister may encounter when they attend separate colleges in the fall. She described her relationship with her sister as very close, sharing extracurricular activities, friends, and interests. They are the only children in the family. Last summer, they separated for the first time. Although Mia felt strange being without “her security blanket,” she related that it felt fantastic to be […]