Category Archives: Uncategorized

Taking Preemptive Action to Preserve the Twin Bond

Parents, relatives, friends, and teachers all marvel at the empathic connection that many twin pairs exhibit. Even though they do fight and have intense moments of sibling rivalry, they often instantly rebound from conflict and turmoil by themselves. Play is resumed as if nothing happened. Their “twin synergy” enables the pairs to stay connected and engaged, ready to resume their regulating reciprocity. However, as twins get older, their families begin to discern some changes in this seamless overaccommodating behavior. While […]

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Did I Make My Twin Crazy?

It breaks my heart when I speak to an identical twin whose sibling has a psychiatric disorder. In addition to the healthy twin’s distress and sadness about her sibling’s state of mind, she often believes that she somehow contributed to her sister’s mental condition. Most of the twins I have worked with experience an enormous sense of guilt and shame over their sibling’s psychological disturbance. The healthy twin can identify specific experiences where her sister may have felt resentful of […]

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I Wouldn’t Be Like This If I Had Your Life

An identical twin woman (whom I will call Jody) in her midseventies described her lifelong commitment to caring for her sister, Ellen. She said, “When I received my waitressing tips, I dumped them onto the table so that Ellen could take her share.” She explained that after she and her twin were abandoned by their mother at age two, they kept one another emotionally afloat and forged an unbreakable bond. However, life has not been easy for Ellen. In the […]

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YouTube Twins Longing for Individuality

These delightful twenty-seven-year-old fraternal twins contacted me to discuss their relationship. This video is a condensed version of our hour-long session. Both women are committed to discovering their individuality. Working and living together has put a strain on their twinship—each longs to develop her own voice. Therapy will help them to handle conflict and assert their unique identities. Image from “Twins Go to Twin Therapy for the First Time!: What Being a Twin Is Really Like” by Poonam & Priyanka

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Twin Parents’ Fatigue: Relentless Twin Bickering

Twins fight constantly. The interminable squabbling is a drag and a drain. In some ways, this power struggle is another aspect of the twin connection. This dynamic is often encountered in couples whose quarreling becomes the primary way they feel connected. If possible, it’s best to address the issue of fighting between twins sooner rather than later. As much as twins are each other’s biggest rival, they are also one another’s staunchest supporter. How can parents minimize tension and competition? […]

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