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Double Down When in a Double Bind

I have consulted recently with many parents of teenage twins about their children’s inability to get along. One mother told me her daughters do not talk to one another, and another parent explained that her daughters constantly yell and scream at one another. Adolescence is a challenging developmental phase for multiples because they have to manage two separations at once—one from their twin and another from their family. Adolescence is a complicated time for many teens and their parents. In […]

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Reparation and Repetition

I recently spoke with a charming pediatric oncology resident whom I will call John. He contacted me after watching the webinar that I presented for the 2020 Twinless Twins Support Group International virtual conference. He explained that he had a twin brother who died of leukemia at age ten. He thanked me for asking about his twin, whom I will call Jake. John mentioned that he rarely got an opportunity to speak about Jake anymore and wished he had more […]

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The Caretaker Twin: She Needs You Too

A mother of thirteen-year-old fraternal twin girls asked my advice about how to help the “cared for” twin develop more independence and self-confidence. The mother remarked that both she and her husband give one twin special attention because she appears insecure and clingy. To their surprise, I suggested that they devote more time and attention to the “caretaker twin” because she may not be getting what she needs in terms of parental emotional investment. Often, a child who is raised […]

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Twin Relationships Redefined

As I discussed in my previous blog post, the physical confinement necessitated by the pandemic has elicited expectable behavioral and emotional challenges among children of all ages. I have received many calls about the effects of the quarantine on twins. It may seem paradoxical that twins who are accustomed to spending most of their time together might show signs of distress and fatigue. However, twins have some opportunities to enjoy separate time at school or other activities. Not getting this […]

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COVID Couple Compromise

In light of our “new normal,” most of us had to make considerable physical and emotional adjustments to our work and home life. In particular, couples who have children and are working from home had to come up with innovative strategies to cope with these overwhelming circumstances. I have spoken with many twin families who are witnessing their twins develop different ways of relating to one another since being quarantined. Twins are another kind of coupled relationship. Depending on their […]

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