Category Archives: Competition

Twins: Seeking Like-Minded Souls

As I describe in my book The Same but Different, twins feel relieved when they can talk about their problems with a fellow twin. Twins have a unique emotional trajectory that does not parallel the experience of different-age siblings. Most siblings are able to express how they feel about their brother or sister. They feel comfortable arguing for status and position without incurring much guilt or opposition. Twins, on the other hand, frequently do not experience this emotional freedom. While […]

more

Twin Transcendence

I know a number of twin pairs who found solace and companionship with each other in their later lives in spite of uncomfortable emotional struggles with one another throughout their marriages and parenting years. I reflected on this after interviewing a woman who described how she and her twin sister have grown closer as they approach their sixties. This woman remarked that she previously had a problematic relationship with her twin because her husband and sister did not get along. […]

more

It’s All My Twin Sisters’ Fault

Parents of twins who have older or younger singleton siblings often worry about how their other children cope with the twins’ attention-getting behaviors and public recognition. I recently spoke with a mom who has a middle school–age son and six-year-old twin daughters. She told me that she is frequently distressed when her son says mean things about his sisters and blames them for making him feel angry and frustrated. As the mother and I explored this matter further, I realized […]

more

Exploring the Relationships between Twins and Other Siblings

With the author’s permission, I am sharing a paper she wrote this summer. Gwendolen Huo is a sixteen-year-old identical twin who has an interest in exploring her relationship to her twin and their older sister. I trust you will appreciate her burgeoning efforts to articulate her emotional perspectives.   Two Is Better than One, Right? Two pairs of feet, each with crimson red flats, marched forward together in unison. Further up, the two are wearing identical scarlet dresses rimmed with […]

more

Enemy or Frenemy?

I asked an older adolescent twin patient the other day to tell me some of her thoughts about competition. She related the following: Oh, it’s horrible. The only good competition is the Olympics—those athletes train and train to be able to compete for one of the highest available honors. When I played softball in high school I had to think that the girls we played against were all bad; it’s silly to think about this now, but I had no […]

more