Category Archives: Competition

Let’s Differentiate Comparison from Competition

Many of my twin patients succeeded in working through uncomfortable, hostile competitive feelings toward their twin. They reached a point where they could authentically feel happy and supportive of their twin’s successes and accomplishments. However, when these patients grapple with new emotional struggles and conflicts, they again become susceptible to comparing their circumstances with their twin’s. The comparison triggers deep-rooted feelings of envy and guilt that stem from a shared childhood of caretaking and accommodation. This comparative default position holds […]

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Till Death Do Us Part

Twins are born paired with a partner they did not choose. From time to time, twins struggle to find a healthy balance between their connection and their longing to be separate. Inside Edition’s recent story about a twenty-seven-year-old female identical twin who fatally stabbed her sister stunned many people. While it is not uncommon to read about siblings abusing one another, the public seems stupefied that a twin would harm her “soulmate.” This horrific event provides a significant insight into […]

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Twin Competition: Friend or Foe?

I have always been intrigued by the stories that I hear from twins about being competitive. Many twins appreciate sharing in the successes of their sibling. Many twin athletes who compete in the same sport, for example, say that they would rather see one of them win than both lose. The motivating companionship of the experience makes the competition invigorating and exciting rather than mean-spirited and malicious. Twins who play competitive sports have a healthy outlet for competitive feelings. In […]

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Two Peas in a Pod: An Imprecise Science

Do you recall the childhood experience of growing a bean seed inside a plastic cup stuffed with moist cotton? I was recently reminded of this when a mom of identical five-year-old twin daughters shared her story. She described how her girls rushed into the kitchen, each carrying her respective bean seed container. One of them was upset that her bean showed no growth while her sister’s seed was sprouting a healthy green root. The mom patiently explained that some plants […]

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Twin Parents’ Fatigue: Relentless Twin Bickering

Twins fight constantly. The interminable squabbling is a drag and a drain. In some ways, this power struggle is another aspect of the twin connection. This dynamic is often encountered in couples whose quarreling becomes the primary way they feel connected. If possible, it’s best to address the issue of fighting between twins sooner rather than later. As much as twins are each other’s biggest rival, they are also one another’s staunchest supporter. How can parents minimize tension and competition? […]

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