Category Archives: Parenting

A Grandmother’s Twin Tale

When new acquaintances get over their surprise about my vocation as a twin therapist, they ask all sorts of questions and tell me interesting stories about twins. I particularly loved an interaction I had with a woman who has seven-year-old fraternal twin grandsons. She told me how upset she had been when her daughter-in-law and son decided to put the boys in separate kindergarten classes. While she wisely did not share her disapproval of this decision with the boys’ parents, […]

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Getting Out of Our Comfort Zone

The keynote speaker at my son’s graduation ceremony emphasized principles that are currently trendy in business and psychology: the importance of failure and the courage to take risks. He asserted that essential emotional growth happens when we learn from failure and get out of our comfort zone. I thought about these principles as I listened to a mom of four-year-old fraternal twin daughters talk about her parenting challenges. Neither of the girls sleeps through the night. One, whom I’ll call […]

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One Step at a Time

Many parents of twins confront the daunting challenge of helping their children develop individual friendships. This is not usually an issue with boy-girl twins, vut same-sex twin pairs frequently have difficulties in this arena. A mom of ten-year-old identical twin girls recently shared a story with me that illustrates this challenge. Both girls have been in separate classrooms since kindergarten. One of the girls, Kaye, has more self-confidence than her sister, Clarissa. She is outgoing, independent, and easygoing. She attends […]

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It’s the Little Things

I am often reminded by my patients who have young twins how important it is to take note of the little things that parents can pay attention to in order to foster their twins’ separate identities. A mother of seven-year-old identical twin daughters told me the following story. Daughter A told her mother that she wanted to take a bath by herself, not with her twin. Her twin, Daughter B, became angry and belligerent, nagging her mother to let her […]

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Mind the Emotional Gap

A high school senior contacted me a few weeks ago to ask my opinion on separating twins in primary school. She is a fraternal twin, and she and her sister live in the Northeastern United States. I will call her Nancy to protect her identity. At the beginning of our conversation, she asked me very broad, open-ended questions about separating twins. I clarified that it was unrealistic to address her concerns in such a generalized manner, as I certainly could […]

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