Category Archives: Adult Twins

Estrangement Can Make You Feel Like a Twinless Twin

When we hear about a twinless twin, we likely associate that description with someone whose twin has passed away. Nonetheless, some people who are estranged from their same-age sibling can also feel like twinless twins even though their sibling is still very much alive. Since much of my work revolves around twin pairs who struggle to reconnect or who must come to terms with being estranged, it feels apt to acknowledge that one can feel like a twinless twin when […]

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A Part of Him Will Always Be with His Twin

A woman in her late twenties recently told me that her identical sister’s boyfriend planned to break up with her because of her twinship. Twin pairs who marry other twins often avoid the heartbreaking complications that burden singletons who are romantically involved with a twin. In my experience, the issues are more dramatic if the twin pair is identical. I have spoken with many women who are blindsided by their husband’s relationship to his twin. If the male twins essentially […]

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Till Death Do Us Part

Twins are born paired with a partner they did not choose. From time to time, twins struggle to find a healthy balance between their connection and their longing to be separate. Inside Edition’s recent story about a twenty-seven-year-old female identical twin who fatally stabbed her sister stunned many people. While it is not uncommon to read about siblings abusing one another, the public seems stupefied that a twin would harm her “soulmate.” This horrific event provides a significant insight into […]

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Loving a Twin: An Emotional Roller Coaster

I received an email from a distraught young woman describing how her boyfriend of five years struggles with divided loyalties between her and his identical twin brother. The young woman says that her boyfriend’s twin frequently requires rescuing due to chronic problems with drug use and unemployment. Her boyfriend’s family has always been insistent that he take care of his less fortunate twin. The family resents their son being in a committed relationship because it derails his commitment to his […]

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Soul Mates or Cell Mates?

Healthy adult twins do not feel imprisoned by their twinship. They have acknowledged each other’s right to be separate and unique while maintaining their special connection. They have worked through feelings of ambivalence, competition, and jealousy, and each has evolved into an individuated self. Healthy twins care deeply about one another and recognize and respect each other’s autonomy and choices. They enjoy being together but do not require exclusive possession of one other in order to cope with life or […]

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