Category Archives: Mothers

Call Me Old Fashioned

Having grown up in the nondigital era, I am still coming to terms with living in a world where no one wants or values privacy. The video clip of the reunion of the ten-year-old Chinese twins separated at birth that recently aired on the Today show seemed like an exploitative invasion of and impingement on a life-altering experience that should have been privately celebrated by these vulnerable young girls. While I do understand the excitement of unexpectedly discovering the twins’ […]

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Ganging Up on Mom

A twin mom with four-year-old fraternal daughters called me for help with a behavioral issue. She discussed her frustration about her daughters’ inability to be patient and considerate while she attends to one of them. For example, she described a situation in which one of her daughters demanded her immediate attention. She had fallen off her chair unexpectedly and was startled. At the moment Mom rushed to comfort her, the other daughter started to scream that she had a “drastic” […]

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It’s Hard Work Now—the Payoff Comes Later

I continue to be awed by an acquaintance of mine who is a mom to eight-year-old identical twin girls. Some people comment that having twins is like having two singletons born close together, but without the experience of parenting identical twins, a person might never understand how difficult daily parenting decisions are with two same-age children. Let me give you an example. My friend decided to make a chart so that each of her daughters could work on behaviors that […]

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Managing Motherhood and Multiples

A few weeks ago, I acted as a cofacilitator for a small group of women with young twins. Most of the issues that the moms discussed are familiar and expectable challenges associated with raising multiples. One mom with ten-month-old twins talked about difficulties related to feeding and sleeping. She shared her story about a traumatic three-year battle with infertility that contributed to her unmitigated anxiety and feelings of helplessness during her pregnancy and after the children’s birth. Her boy/girl twins […]

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The Intersection of Our Past and Present

Speaking to a lovely group of twin moms a few months ago, I was struck by a dilemma plaguing one of the mothers. She related that, contrary to her own personal beliefs, her husband is passionately opposed to the idea that it is healthier for twins to be differentiated. He believes their six-year-old fraternal sons should wear the exact same clothes, and he does not see the value of spending alone time with each boy. He feels that the twin […]

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