Tag Archives: relationships

A Shared Friendship

The other day, I was thinking about how different my 24-year-old sons, Jonny and David, are in terms of their personalities, interests, and personal strengths. Now, as young adults, they are living on different coasts and working in diametrically opposed professions. Of course, both of them still keep in touch with their close friends from high school. However, Neil is one particular friend that Jonny and David both enjoy being with, either separately or together. Our entire family also adores […]


Rethinking the Caretaker Scenario

I was so appreciative that many moms came up to me after the New Zealand Multiple Birth Association conference to tell me how much they learned about the twin relationship and how fascinating and helpful it was to expand and stretch their perspectives. I am especially happy when moms remark how much their thinking has been changed in terms of the caretaking dynamic that happens between twins. After hearing my advice that twins should not be each other’s constant companion or […]


Double or Nothing

During my talks at the New Zealand Multiple Birth Association conference, prominent themes recurred. Interestingly, many moms had identical twins, so issues regarding individuation were very important. One concern was that teachers and coaches are often unable or unwilling to learn how to differentiate one twin from the other. We discussed how insulting this laissez-faire mentality is to twins who are yearning to be recognized and how it could lead to poor decision making. Often, one twin will not be celebrated […]