Category Archives: Identity

Finding Their Other Half

“I think my daughters are struggling with a desperate need to separate but are also struggling with gaps in their own individual skill sets because of their twinship. Where one has a weakness, the other may be strong.” This quote is from a mom of identical twins in their early twenties. In my years of working with twins and their families, I have learned that this conundrum of feeling incomplete without one’s twin is a common and expectable emotional dilemma […]

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Commentary on the NPR Review of Three Identical Strangers

I was very moved by Ella Taylor’s review for NPR about a recently released documentary called Three Identical Strangers. While I have not yet viewed the movie, I have read about the three adopted men who were coincidentally reunited in their late teens by quirky acts of fate. The reunion of multiples separated at birth is an inevitable media sensation. When I mention that I am a psychotherapist who specializes in twin issues, nine times out of ten, people’s first […]

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The True Nature of Twinship

Vivienne Lewin is a colleague who has written extensively about twin relationships. She graciously allowed me to share an article about the multifaceted complications of a twin connection that she wrote for the Hippocratic Post on April 16, 2018.   Twinship: A Subversive Relationship Vivienne Lewin Twins generate a great deal of excitement and curiosity, and with the increasing frequency of twin births as a result of IVF and later age of conception, amongst other factors, it is important to understand the […]

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Like an Old Married Couple

A mom of 16-year-old identical twin boys contacted me to talk about how to handle excessive bickering between her sons. She described how she has tried to manage the incessant teasing and fighting that goes on between the two of them. One will accuse the other of dressing like a geek, having a stupid sense of humor, or acting like a dork at school. The dominant twin is more likely than not to be leveling these insults at his reticent […]

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Twin Caretaking: Confusion and Conflict

I am currently working with three women who are attempting to navigate the emotional turmoil wrought by their assuming a caretaking role with their identical twin sisters. The caretaker role in these instances means that one twin has sacrificed her own feelings and needs in the service of protecting and parenting her sister. Each twin comes from a different background. One woman was raised in a rural area by a family that was disorganized and chaotic. The second woman grew […]

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