If organizing consistent alone time with each of your twins seems out of reach, here are a few suggestions that might help you carve out some precious one-on-one moments: Bring one baby in the car pool. Take one baby out for a walk in a single stroller. Take the babies separately to doctor appointments. Take the babies to the same toddler group on alternate days. Play alone with one baby at the park. Bathe the babies separately. Be attuned to […]
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Ways to Rejuvenate While Caring for Twins
More often than not, getting accustomed to the emotional and physical wear and tear of caring for two babies at the same time is quite a daunting enterprise. Here are some suggestions for finding some temporary solace and regrouping after twins are born: Get away from the babies, the house, and the chores. Find ways to laugh. Go shopping–but not for baby items. Have coffee with a friend who does not have children. Get together with a mentor who is […]
Twins Seeking Like-Minded Souls
As I describe in my book The Same but Different, twins feel relieved when they can talk about their problems with a fellow twin. Twins have a unique emotional trajectory that does not parallel the experience of different-age siblings. Most siblings are able to express how they feel about their brother or sister. They feel comfortable arguing for status and position without incurring much guilt or opposition. Twins, on the other hand, frequently do not experience this emotional freedom. While […]
Do I Take Care of Myself or My Twin?
I received an e-mail from a college-age female twin whom I will call Molly. Molly reached out to me because she was feeling worried and frustrated about her relationship with her sister Maddy. Although Molly and Maddy were now in their second year of attending separate colleges, Molly felt ongoing concerns about their twin relationship. Molly and Maddy are the eldest children, with three younger siblings. Molly described that she and her sister were basically treated as a unit most […]
Why Twins Prefer a Therapist Who is a Twin
Most twins who are looking for a therapist hope to find one who is a twin. It is important that nontwins and therapists understand why this is the case. Growing up as a twin is a very different experience than growing up as a singleton–whether you are an identical or a fraternal twin. The bottom line is that twins have grown up with their twin by their side for most of their life, for better or worse. The twin connection […]