I met a former patient of mine the other day for coffee. We had not seen one another since she graduated from college a few months ago. Like many college graduates, Shelley, who is a twin, is looking for a job and feeling quite frustrated. She is fortunate to be able to live with her family while she is job hunting and making some money by waiting tables. The issues that Shelley and I worked on about three years ago […]
Can Divorce Be Amicable for Twins?
Recently, I presented some material from my research findings about adult twin relationships. I discussed why it is so challenging for some twins to develop a cohesive self. I referenced Dr. Barbara Klein’s book Alone in the Mirror. She feels that since twins are in a metaphorical sense born married, they can never get a divorce. Dr. Klein substantiates her point of view by highlighting how twins remain loyally connected to one another in the face of enormous guilt, resentment, […]
Sisters, Twins, Best Friends?
Often twins can eventually acknowledge that their siblings are not always their best friends. Singletons face similar challenges. A close friend of mine has consistently justified her youngest sister’s selfishness and self-involvement. My friend feels uncomfortable disagreeing with her sister because she does not want to trigger her sister’s anger or resentment. My friend was raised by parents who taught her to have minimal expectations. In addition, my friend often denies having unpleasant thoughts because they make her feel uncomfortable […]
Twins: Team Players or Rivals
The media often reports about twin pairs who work together to create successful businesses. For example, the Olsen twins have been capitalizing on their twinship since they were toddlers. Their fashion line is currently a huge success owing to their name recognition and worldwide fame. Teman and Teran Evans are designers who run Dioscuri; Dean and Dan Caten are founders and owners of Dsquared, an international fashion house; Vera and Daphne Correll are the creators of the fashion label CorrellCorrell; […]
A Singular Sensation
Twins often find it difficult to appreciate their own successes. Since so many of their accomplishments are evaluated in relation to their twin, many twins find it challenging to absorb a singular success. It has been a habitual practice to evaluate a twin’s status by comparing what one twin has or doesn’t have–or did or did not do–with that of the other twin. Singletons are accustomed to being compared with others, and consequently they learn how to integrate their successes […]