photo credit: sachman75 via photopin cc

One mom at the New Zealand Multiple Birth Association conference shared how she has come to understand the importance of transitions when it comes to parenting. Her teenage twin boys have developed into very distinct persons. She is now cognizant about how each one might use the twinship—often as a crutch or as leverage to get what the other one has. These boys are in separate classes and have some separate relationships with other friends. This mom astutely sees that the one twin who is feeling more socially insecure is doing better academically, while the sociable one is having a bit more difficulty with his schoolwork. She constantly tries to balance and monitor what both boys are doing so that they do not use the other as a whipping boy or an excuse to get what the other has. She realizes that both boys need to be gently coaxed out of their comfort zone. If not, we witness a developing overreliance on the other that is hostile and dependent rather than loving and interdependent.

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