Tag Archives: independence

When the Bough Breaks

I realize I have written about this issue previously; however, each time this situation comes to my attention, I become terribly upset and feel as if I must educate others to take heed. A concerned mother of 15-year-old identical twins called me to ask for help regarding her daughters’ social woes and difficulties. She explained that they have no friends. Both girls feel as if they have made attempts to connect with their peers, but to no avail. When they […]

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One-on-One Time—Helping Multiples Create a Singular Identity

Sam, a bright young man in his early thirties, came to see me because he felt abandoned by his identical twin brother Ryan. My patient was distraught because Ryan had changed so drastically since he started to see a psychotherapist. Sam had believed unequivocally that he and Ryan were destined to work together as singers, actors, and performers. Sam had organized his entire professional life on the assumption that he and his brother would be an artistic collaborative team. However, […]

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Twin Lethargy—Not Twin Synergy

When I was in fifth grade, we had to complete a class project that involved choosing a proverb that had special meaning and artfully making it into a parchment manuscript. I have always remembered the maxim I chose: “The easy way is not always the best way.” While I had little realization of the unconscious meaning of that idea in my ten-year-old thought process, I can make meaning of my choice in hindsight. While this is a subjective interpretation on […]

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Adult Twins: Identity, Rivalry, and Intimacy

Some twin pairs, not all, become disillusioned about their twinship because they struggle to be “known,” not just “noticed.” Since outsiders habitually relate to them as a unit or a fixed dyad, they expectedly have conflicts with their twin in an attempt to define or declare their individual selves. While twins fight just like different-aged siblings, their tensions have much more to do with establishing separateness and uniqueness, traits afforded naturally to siblings born at different times. Twins, especially identical […]

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All Parents Make Mistakes

Christina Baglivi Tinglof is a mother of fraternal twin sons and an accomplished author of two books on the subject—Double Duty and Parenting School-Age Twins and Multiples. She wrote a terrific blog on June 3, 2016, that she is permitting me to share with my readers. It touches upon the parenting mishaps that we all make because we are unaware and unsure about what to do in certain circumstances.   Young Twins Who Hit and Bite: Are We To Blame? […]

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