Though the majority of calls that I receive are requests for advice, I had the pleasure of speaking with a female college-age twin about her journey of separating from her sister. I was delighted to hear how she and her sister have been approaching this subject honestly and mutually. Both women realize that their familiarity with one another has limited their ability and motivation to socialize with others. They recognize that they need to do more on their own and […]
Tag Archives: college
A Unique Look at the Twin Bond
This terrific piece popped up a few months ago in my Google Alerts page. The author is Isabel Sakarin, a lovely young woman who just finished her freshman year at Vassar College. With her permission, I am sharing this beautiful homage to her twinship. She and her twin brother, Ben, attend different colleges. This article integrates her love for her brother and for science. I trust you will be enlightened and entertained by Ms. Sakarin’s keen sense of humor and […]
I Am Only a Half
Twins who have attended the same college often decide to explore life on their own when it’s time to find that first job. A young man in his early twenties who was searching the Internet for help with this adult twin challenge recently contacted me. Similar to many twin pairs who are just beginning to reflect about the consequences of being without one’s twin, he shared how anxious and depressed he was being on his own for the first time. […]
My Husband’s Twin Brother Moved Next Door
I have written often about how partners of twins have difficulty understanding the depth and pull of twinship. A woman I shall refer to as Mrs. D recently reached out for help to handle her feelings of resentment and helplessness about her husband’s renewed and intensified relationship with his twin brother. She explained that, in the past, she had a terrific relationship with her brother-in-law. However, since his contentious divorce and his move next door to her family, she has felt […]
I Always Think First About What Is Best for Both of Us
9Instead of thinking how lovely it is that twins care so much about each other, when I hear a sentiment such as the one above, I worry. I imagine the overly dependent relationship that most likely exists between the twins. What may begin as a compatible, caretaking, and harmonious twin attachment can turn into a relationship where one or both twins feels trapped and powerless and yet clueless and fearful about change. At some point, one twin usually desires more freedom […]