9Instead of thinking how lovely it is that twins care so much about each other, when I hear a sentiment such as the one above, I worry. I imagine the overly dependent relationship that most likely exists between the twins. What may begin as a compatible, caretaking, and harmonious twin attachment can turn into a relationship where one or both twins feels trapped and powerless and yet clueless and fearful about change. At some point, one twin usually desires more freedom […]
Category Archives: Competition
Sizing Up the Competition
Competition among siblings is integral to most families. Our natural instinct is to survive and thrive. Many twin pairs, however, have a different experience with sibling rivalry and competitiveness because of their intimate relationship. While twins fight just as much—or possibly more—than nontwin siblings, their feelings about surpassing or outdoing their twin can be conflicting and confusing. More often than not, identical twins that compete in the same sport are wholly supportive of and noncompetitive with their sibling. Often they […]
Young Twins Making Friends
Most parents are captivated by their twins’ connection to each other. In fact, this twin bond often helps to compensate for the many difficulties and challenges that parents face when raising twins—the constant fighting, the ongoing competition for time and attention, the never-ending complaints about who has what. The wonderful aspects of the twin bond can be seen often while watching twins play. Seeing the creative and imaginative content that emerges out of their twin synchrony can be impressive and […]
Two Different Worlds
I have been thinking about two sessions I had recently with two different twin clients—both struggling with twin loss, physically and emotionally. One woman has been attempting to work through her grief about the death of her twin sister, who died unexpectedly of a heart attack a few months ago. My client and her sister were incredibly close. Although they were both married with careers and children, they spoke every day and saw one another frequently. They shared an inexplicable […]
Twinsburg Survey Findings
Amusingly, many of the twins who patiently answered the survey questions at my booth at the Twins Day Festival displayed a penchant for peeking at their twin’s paper to check out his or her answers. Most had no idea what they were doing until I laughingly pointed it out. Twins just do those kinds of things habitually—without thinking. As I mentioned in an earlier blog, I was heartened to find out how consistent the survey findings were with the material […]