Celebrating the New Year can inspire us to pause and contemplate personal issues in a self-reflective manner. We make promises to ourselves about changes we long to make, goals we want to pursue, and dreams we hope will come true. Here is my personal list of parenting resolutions for 2014 that I feel reflect pressing concerns in our society: Minimize Screen Time Conventional children’s toys have been replaced by the singular favorite toy of all ages–the cell phone. I […]
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Twins and Birthdays
I was so thrilled that the moms at the New Zealand Multiple Birth Association conference celebrated my birthday with a stunningly delicious chocolate cake baked by one of the talented moms. I appreciated the thought and sentiment, especially after I told my audience that Jane and I had to share our birthday cakes and race to open our identical presents. I was having coffee today with a colleague who is an identical twin herself and the author of a well-respected twin […]
A Shared Friendship
The other day, I was thinking about how different my 24-year-old sons, Jonny and David, are in terms of their personalities, interests, and personal strengths. Now, as young adults, they are living on different coasts and working in diametrically opposed professions. Of course, both of them still keep in touch with their close friends from high school. However, Neil is one particular friend that Jonny and David both enjoy being with, either separately or together. Our entire family also adores […]
Rethinking the Caretaker Scenario
I was so appreciative that many moms came up to me after the New Zealand Multiple Birth Association conference to tell me how much they learned about the twin relationship and how fascinating and helpful it was to expand and stretch their perspectives. I am especially happy when moms remark how much their thinking has been changed in terms of the caretaking dynamic that happens between twins. After hearing my advice that twins should not be each other’s constant companion or […]
Double or Nothing
During my talks at the New Zealand Multiple Birth Association conference, prominent themes recurred. Interestingly, many moms had identical twins, so issues regarding individuation were very important. One concern was that teachers and coaches are often unable or unwilling to learn how to differentiate one twin from the other. We discussed how insulting this laissez-faire mentality is to twins who are yearning to be recognized and how it could lead to poor decision making. Often, one twin will not be celebrated […]