Parents of twins face a challenging dilemma in attempting to establish equitability between twins who have strikingly different temperaments, needs, and personalities. At times, the twin who appears more laid-back, self-contained, and independent begins to resent his twin sibling who actively and aggressively demands considerable time and attention. Unhappy about the competitiveness with his twin, the “quieter” one devises methods to get recognition and validation. This child might experiment by exhibiting obstinate, stubborn, or controlling behavior. He may become a […]
Tag Archives: twins
A Beautiful Story
A few weeks ago, a producer from Iowa Public Radio asked me to participate in a show about adult twins. She was doing a feature about the pair of identical-twin brothers who won the most-identical-looking-twins contest for adults over 18 years old at the Iowa State Fair. The producer, a fraternal twin herself, interviewed the 32-year-old brothers about their twin experiences. Both men are teachers and coaches at the same high school. They live close to one another and both […]
Monkey Time: Alone Time at Its Best
I wanted to share one father’s enthusiastic endorsement of the benefits of alone time—time when one twin gets one-on-one parental attention. He shared his story with a group of parents I spoke to in San Francisco, prefacing his remarks by apologizing that he did not learn about one-on-one time from my book Emotionally Healthy Twins! He and his wife and their fraternal twin daughters coined the term “monkey time” to initiate time alone when the girls were toddlers. The father […]
Sibling Rivalry: It’s Never out of Fashion
A recent post on Facebook by a mother asking for advice about handling her twins’ constant arguing generated more than one hundred comments. I read through most of the responses, looking for recurrent themes, thoughts, or threads. Curiously, a number of adult twins wrote that fighting among twins is normal and not to worry. Parents posted concerns about biting, hitting, verbal and physical aggression, and incessant bickering. The post prompted me to reread a book published more than fifteen years […]
Can Your Twin Have a “Normal” Childhood If She Has a Special Needs Twin?
A mom recently wrote this about managing twins with different abilities: I have identical boys, but one will never be able to do everything his brother can, due to a brush with Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome in the womb. Although both are healthy, bright kids, their physical accomplishments will always be at a different pace, and as a result, I’ve had to mull this over many times. Thinking about this mom’s situation led me to learn more about how children with […]