Many parents of twins confront the daunting challenge of helping their children develop individual friendships. This is not usually an issue with boy-girl twins, vut same-sex twin pairs frequently have difficulties in this arena. A mom of ten-year-old identical twin girls recently shared a story with me that illustrates this challenge. Both girls have been in separate classrooms since kindergarten. One of the girls, Kaye, has more self-confidence than her sister, Clarissa. She is outgoing, independent, and easygoing. She attends […]
Tag Archives: parenting
Mind the Emotional Gap
A high school senior contacted me a few weeks ago to ask my opinion on separating twins in primary school. She is a fraternal twin, and she and her sister live in the Northeastern United States. I will call her Nancy to protect her identity. At the beginning of our conversation, she asked me very broad, open-ended questions about separating twins. I clarified that it was unrealistic to address her concerns in such a generalized manner, as I certainly could […]
Why It’s So Difficult to Just Say No
A few weeks ago, I and a number of other consultants were asked to help a couple with three-year-old fraternal twin boys determine why the boys have not learned how to fall asleep on their own. Both the mom and the dad felt exhausted, frustrated, and defeated. Their innumerable unsuccessful attempts to put the boys to bed in their own room and to have them sleep through the night left the parents feeling helpless and overwhelmed. Both the mom and […]
Invite Just One Twin for a Playdate
I had the pleasure of spending a few hours with a psychologist who specializes in teaching parents and children essential social skills. She mentioned that she has a number of twins who attend her groups, and I was intrigued to hear about how she helps identical twins learn to socialize with their peers. From the outside looking in, many people watch twins play effortlessly with one another and wish that their children were able to get along so well. While a twin […]
My Presentation in Santiago
Parents of multiples the world over have some similar concerns when it comes to raising their children—issues of identity, rivalry, competition, and comparison are all common. What is so strikingly interesting is how cultural differences affect the importance of these concerns. I have just returned from a two-week vacation in Chile. In Santiago, I had the pleasure of addressing an overflow audience of parents who came to listen to my presentations about parenting twins and the emotional challenges of adult […]