Category Archives: Adult Twins

A Gratuitous Gimmick or a Gracious Gesture?

Among the many articles about the Olympic athletes who competed in Rio, considerable media attention was paid to a pair of female twin marathon runners from Germany. Photographers snapped a photo of them holding hands as they crossed the finish line. The German media outlets sparked criticism about the women’s gesture, suggesting that their hand-holding shenanigan was nothing more than an attention-getting ploy that denigrated the spirit of genuine Olympian athleticism. Contrary to their German counterparts, many journalists and tweeters expressed […]

more

Love Cannot Conquer All—Even Twin Love

As so many of us discover after a number of years of marriage, the exact qualities that attracted us to our beloved turn out to be personality traits that may contribute to our feeling unhappy, lonely, or sad later on in the relationship. This predicament can become especially intolerable if you have a twin who gets you, has your back, demonstrates unconditional love and acceptance, and needs to hear no more than a few words drop from your lips to […]

more

Adult Twins: Identity, Rivalry, and Intimacy

Some twin pairs, not all, become disillusioned about their twinship because they struggle to be “known,” not just “noticed.” Since outsiders habitually relate to them as a unit or a fixed dyad, they expectedly have conflicts with their twin in an attempt to define or declare their individual selves. While twins fight just like different-aged siblings, their tensions have much more to do with establishing separateness and uniqueness, traits afforded naturally to siblings born at different times. Twins, especially identical […]

more

Empathic Listening

Our parenting roles with our adult children and their families can at times be complicated and conflictual. The ever-present vestiges of sibling rivalry live long in most of us. Often I talk with my therapist about ongoing issues with my five children. She smiles sympathetically and replies, “Joan, you have too many children.” Thankfully, my clinical training has prepared me well for my lifelong occupation as the resident complaint department. I have developed and refined the art of empathic listening […]

more

Puerto Rico, Por Favor

I had the pleasure, honor, and good fortune to speak at the beautiful Teatro Raul Julia at the Museo de Arte de Puerto Rico in San Juan. The museum is an incredible venue that offers a myriad of events for all ages on the island of Puerto Rico. Dr. Lourdes Ramos, the museum’s tireless executive director, has inspired the museum’s impeccable reputation for excellence and innovation. I stressed key points in my presentation that provoked thought and self-reflection. The first […]

more