Blog

Transitions

One mom at the New Zealand Multiple Birth Association conference shared how she has come to understand the importance of transitions when it comes to parenting. Her teenage twin boys have developed into very distinct persons. She is now cognizant about how each one might use the twinship—often as a crutch or as leverage to get what the other one has. These boys are in separate classes and have some separate relationships with other friends. This mom astutely sees that […]

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Twin Loss and Mirroring

I recently connected with a woman whose twin had just died. I was reminded about the unique experience that twins share—that exquisite sense of being known—when she expressed her thoughts: “She just gets me; I don’t have to say anything; she just understands without my having to explain myself.” This young woman felt grief stricken about losing this piece of the attachment with her sister when she realized that there will never be another person to mirror her in this […]

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Being Appreciated for Being Me

Every year when I read about the Twinsburg Twins Days Festival or see photographs of grown-up twins who are dressed identically and unabashedly clowning around with their clone, I feel a visceral trigger of old feelings about growing up as a twin freak. Jane and I were always the source of endless curiosity, and I hated (and still hate) being the center of attention without a feeling of substance or worth. Unfortunately, I have never really experienced the joys of […]

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Sleep Expectations and Sleep Training Techniques

I’m sometimes consulted when both parents are exhausted and irritable. Consulting The No-Cry Sleep Solution, by Elizabeth Pantley, and Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins, by Dr. Marc Weissbluth offers some good suggestions. Both authors write extensively about the biological importance of sleep. Pantley explains that a baby’s biological clock begins maturing at 6-9 weeks and does not work smoothly until 4-5 months. Dr. Weissbluth asserts that when infants are 12-16 weeks, daytime sleep starts to regularize and bedtime is earlier. […]

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Twin Takes

Welcome. Many of you know that the subject of being a twin is a very large part of my life. First, I am a twin; second, I am the mother of twins; third, I specialize in twin issues in my psychotherapy practice; and fourth, I am the author of two books on the subject: Emotionally Healthy Twins and The Same But Different. And there is so much to talk about. According to a January 2012 report by the National Center […]

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