Tag Archives: school

Mind the Emotional Gap

A high school senior contacted me a few weeks ago to ask my opinion on separating twins in primary school. She is a fraternal twin, and she and her sister live in the Northeastern United States. I will call her Nancy to protect her identity. At the beginning of our conversation, she asked me very broad, open-ended questions about separating twins. I clarified that it was unrealistic to address her concerns in such a generalized manner, as I certainly could […]

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When One Twin Is Held Back in School and How It Affects Their Emotional Well-Being

I’ll never forget being kept back in the fourth grade while my twin sister, Fay Louise, moved ahead. I’m sure it was the final proof I needed as a frail, indecisive child to convince me that I was inferior. For years, I believed I wasn’t as smart as my sister. I refused to give myself any credit for having been ill and kept back for that reason. I was “dumb” and I played that record over and over, a thousand […]

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Honesty Is Only the First Step

As a seasoned clinician, I am well aware that insight is the gateway to change. I tell my patients that discovering fresh insights into our problems and ourselves is akin to opening a window that has previously been shuttered or stuck. However, in order to discover those insights, we must open that window to risk new behaviors and experiences that may feel out of reach or simply too intimating to contemplate. I was communicating electronically with an adult twin woman […]

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She Gets It!

How refreshing it is to write about a mom who understands what her identical twin sons need. Much of her success is rooted in the healthy relationship that she has with her identical twin sister. What moved me when we were chatting was how often she emphasized that her sister gave her space so as not to impinge upon or interfere with her happiness or success. Although they live miles apart, their strong emotional bond and easy intimacy allows them […]

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Tips for a Smooth Transition Back to School

Getting back into the school routine after a more relaxed summer timetable can be challenging for both parents and kids. While many moms and dads look forward to having more structured time for their multiples, the school year demands that the whole family get back into a more rigid schedule—which has its pluses and minuses. If your multiples are beginning kindergarten, this is an exciting and memorable time that requires a bit more focus and attention to the emotional details […]

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