What if my twin falls apart and I am not there to pick up the pieces? What if my twin never gets married? What if my twin cannot forgive me for moving away? What if my twin decides to quit running the business with me? Many of my patients tend to be trapped by catastrophic thinking, which involves ruminating about irrational, worst-case scenarios that will result in disaster. Sometimes, persistent negative thoughts stem from old beliefs and core values. Helping […]

I recently posted an article on Facebook about the social media backlash directed at a father because of his decision to spend time alone with each of his four-year-old twins. Apparently, many people accused him of inciting separation anxiety if he implemented this plan. Nonetheless, he offered valid and legitimate arguments for his intentions. He explained that before he and his husband decided to have twins, they spoke to many adult twins and asked about their experiences. He reported that […]

I am delighted to tell you about a new book coming out in February—Parent like a Triplet, written by Norwegian identical triplet Kari Ertresvåg. I had the tremendous pleasure of writing the book’s foreword, which I want to share with you here. Foreword to Parent like a Triplet I consider myself Kari Ertresvåg’s partner in crime—the “crime” being our joint commitment to debunking the twin mystique and normalizing the experiences of multiples. We share a sisterhood of sorts as fellow […]

One of my patients gave me her copy of Lori Gottlieb’s book Maybe You Should Talk to Someone. I read it over the holiday break and found it engaging. I particularly related to two ideas that Gottlieb discussed: how to help patients “edit their stories” within the therapeutic milieu of dyadic coconstruction and how we psychotherapists can manage our personal upheavals to avoid inflicting them unwittingly on our patients. As Gottlieb pointed out, a patient’s presenting problem is sometimes just […]

Wherever I travel to talk with parents of twins, I hear the ever-present complaint about teachers who cannot distinguish one twin from thee another. In fact, when parents read the teacher’s notes about each sibling, many parents realize that the teacher has no idea who is who. Apparently, the reports do not reflect the skills or personality traits of the twin who is supposedly being described. Twins’ families have trouble understanding why their children’s distinctness is lost on so many […]