Most of us have faced the difficulty of making a decision without any guarantee of success. We weigh the pros and cons, hope for the best, and comfort ourselves with the notion that if our decision does not work out, we can move on. Disappointing outcomes are never easy; however, we trust that we will have the conviction and resilience to recover and take the next steps. Of course, that’s easier said than done, yet such challenges are vital prerequisites for managing life and its ongoing uncertainties over which we have no control.

Sadly, some twin pairs do not experience situations that stretch their capacities to handle uncertainty or change. One sibling may follow his “Pied Piper” twin, trailing along comfortably and amicably in his path and mimicking his decisions, predilections, and ideas. Then one day, without warning or preparation, the “leader” twin makes a life decision that excludes his brother, leaving the “follower” twin feeling abandoned and frightened.

Borrowing the decisions of an outside source does not reflect one’s inner ability to manage uncertainty. Feeling paralyzed by indecision and inaction is a miserable predicament. One may ruminate, overanalyze, adopt black-and-white thinking, and get lost in perfectionistic goals. Ultimately, the abandoned twin struggles with developing self-trust. Since the twinship provided an external framework for security and confidence, the inner growth required for trusting oneself did not materialize. Feeling disappointment and pain as well as joy in response to unpredictability is essential to human vitality.

Photo by Brad Barmore on Unsplash