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I Wouldn’t Be Like This If I Had Your Life

An identical twin woman (whom I will call Jody) in her midseventies described her lifelong commitment to caring for her sister, Ellen. She said, “When I received my waitressing tips, I dumped them onto the table so that Ellen could take her share.” She explained that after she and her twin were abandoned by their mother at age two, they kept one another emotionally afloat and forged an unbreakable bond. However, life has not been easy for Ellen. In the […]

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YouTube Twins Longing for Individuality

These delightful twenty-seven-year-old fraternal twins contacted me to discuss their relationship. This video is a condensed version of our hour-long session. Both women are committed to discovering their individuality. Working and living together has put a strain on their twinship—each longs to develop her own voice. Therapy will help them to handle conflict and assert their unique identities. Image from “Twins Go to Twin Therapy for the First Time!: What Being a Twin Is Really Like” by Poonam & Priyanka

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Candice Breitz and FACTUM: Artful Videos of Identical Twins and Triplets

A friend of mine who is an art collector told me about a video project entitled FACTUM, made by artist Candice Breitz. The information below describes how Breitz interviewed multiples separately and then edited the responses to illustrate the siblings’ shared and divergent feelings about their childhoods and personalities. Since the videos are quite lengthy, try to watch them when you are not pressed for time. Otherwise, appreciating the nuanced differences between the identical siblings is difficult. Below is a […]

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Evolving from We to Me

In my writing and presentations, I frequently mention the difficulty twins have with becoming self-ish—that is, learning how to discern their individual feelings, needs, and desires. Understandably, this is a difficult task because they grew up in a twin bubble. The stability of the twin bond requires mutual accommodation to survive conflict and differences. This equilibrium endures in a largely unconscious manner. As a result, multiples who are invested in discovering their individuality struggle to disentangle themselves from the twin […]

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Till Death Do Us Part

Twins are born paired with a partner they did not choose. From time to time, twins struggle to find a healthy balance between their connection and their longing to be separate. Inside Edition’s recent story about a twenty-seven-year-old female identical twin who fatally stabbed her sister stunned many people. While it is not uncommon to read about siblings abusing one another, the public seems stupefied that a twin would harm her “soulmate.” This horrific event provides a significant insight into […]

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