The contemporary popularity of going “no contact” has become sensationalized via social media. However, family estrangement is not new. Moreover, this dynamic has consistently played a distinct role in the psychology of twinship. Many twin patients come into treatment concerned about a rift that has already happened or fearful that it might happen if their current circumstances are not resolved. Often a twin’s family member becomes concerned and suggests that one or both twins seek therapy. Estrangement in twin pairs […]
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Taking Off the Twin Blinders
Growing up in a twin bubble can be akin to living one’s whole life on land and then abruptly being cast adrift in a vast sea. Suddenly, seemingly without warning, one twin may connect with a romantic partner or move away. Whatever the reason for the separation, the twin who is “left behind” feels blindsided and gut punched. His whole world breaks down in terms of safety, predictability, and security. His anxiety about being on his own and his depression […]
Oops, I Did It Again!
The title of this post refers to Sigmund Freud, not Britney Spears! Freud introduced the concept of the repetition compulsion, which refers to an unhealthy behavior from our unconscious past that unknowingly gets us in trouble until we can make that behavior conscious and understand the motivation behind its repetition. It refers to our tendency to repeat similar behaviors without realizing that the consequences of the repetition might be exactly what we were attempting to avoid. An identical twin woman […]
Tolerating Uncertainty
Most of us have faced the difficulty of making a decision without any guarantee of success. We weigh the pros and cons, hope for the best, and comfort ourselves with the notion that if our decision does not work out, we can move on. Disappointing outcomes are never easy; however, we trust that we will have the conviction and resilience to recover and take the next steps. Of course, that’s easier said than done, yet such challenges are vital prerequisites […]
How Do I Make My Twin Listen?
A woman in her late twenties, Alice, contacted me for some help managing her fraternal twin sister, Ruby. Alice declared that Ruby was ruining her life. Ruby calls her multiple times a day, even though both women work full-time and live in different states. Alice told me that Ruby had a severely traumatic relationship in high school. Since then, she has struggled to date or trust men. Alice also stated that Ruby lives in a delusional world where she fabricates […]