Who Was the Person You Used to Be?

As a twin who has devoted many decades of my psychotherapy practice to understanding the intricacies of the twin connection, I am sensitive to the challenges that arise when a twinship is permanently severed. Regardless of the age when death comes for one sibling, the survivor is left to deal with the overwhelming grief alone. Sometimes, the biggest challenge for surviving twins is constructing a revised version of their identity. In a sense, while grieving the death of their twin, the survivors also mourn their own death.

While many people renew and reframe themselves following the death of a loved one, twins face the complicated task of adjusting a formerly shared identity to fit only one person. This shift causes uncertainty, angst, and deep confusion for the surviving twin. Nontwins have difficulty understanding why this challenging emotional journey requires patience, compassion, and time.

I look forward to sharing my insights and knowledge in an upcoming webinar on July 11 for the 2020 Twinless Twins Support Group International virtual conference. At that time, I will delve into a more detailed discussion about the turmoil and the growth that follow the death of a twin. While no two of us experience bereavement in quite the same way, and while the grieving process is unique to each individual, I will share some variables specific to twin loss that can help survivors navigate this painful journey and restore their sense of self.

If you are interested in joining this discussion, you can register for the virtual conference here. I look forward to seeing you there!

Image courtesy of Joe Penna (CC BY 2.0)

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