The other day, I was thinking about how different my 24-year-old sons, Jonny and David, are in terms of their personalities, interests, and personal strengths. Now, as young adults, they are living on different coasts and working in diametrically opposed professions.
Of course, both of them still keep in touch with their close friends from high school.
However, Neil is one particular friend that Jonny and David both enjoy being with, either separately or together. Our entire family also adores Neil. I was wondering how he manages to feel connected to both boys in view of their incredibly divergent personalities.
Neil is very observant and insightful, and he shared his thoughts with me. He related that he shares a particular sense of humor with Jonny—both Jonny and Neil have a dry, sardonic tone that often borders on the cynical. With David, Neil shares a fun-loving and spirited side, and they enjoy spending time together at the gym and at clubs.
Neil’s capacity to connect with certain aspects of both boys is a testimony to his ability to respond to and enjoy the differences in his friends’ personalities.
If more friends were as perceptive and attuned as Neil, twins would have an easier time sharing relationships without feeling a sense of competition or comparison.
Do you have a friend like Neil in your life?