The dichotomy of twinship never fails to astound me, even after so many years of working with twins. Recently, I met a pair of identical twin men in their late twenties. They are professional athletes who perform as a duo. They have trained together their whole lives to achieve professional status and recognition. They are about to embark on a nationwide tour and find themselves bickering. I spoke to each separately, and it is evident that both are aware and scared of what is happening between them. Their stake in getting along has a professional and personal price. When I asked one of the young men how he was feeling in the face of this contentiousness, he told me he was not angry; rather, he felt that he was defeated and could not win.

How are they going to keep their personal feelings under wraps and not jeopardize their careers and lifelong devotion to their shared athletic pursuits? The situation is daunting and frightening, to say the least. Shattering their relationship would ultimately destroy their dreams. What is the cost of sacrificing one’s emotional health for the well-being of the pair?

This is an issue faced by many twin couples. When is togetherness too much? Predictably, the men’s emotional maturity has been compromised by their focus on their athletic pursuits. Can they find a pathway to some discussion and acceptance of each other’s feelings? Can they make some adaptations and adjustments that will fortify their connection rather than threaten it?

Hopefully, taking baby steps toward listening to each other without fear or anger will be the beginning of a heathier and safer connection.

Photo by Yunus Tuğ on Unsplash