The individual who wrote the following post has given me permission to share it on my blog. It is a beautiful albeit painful description of how she has managed to understand and accept her twin’s need for separation. As she relates, she has no recourse other than to acknowledge her sister’s reality and feelings. She cannot have a real discussion with her sister or share her own perspective because her sister’s thinking is irrefutable.
I wanted to share I made a major healing step thanks in large part to your writing of twins often not having the same story of their experience. My twin has taken on a spiritual practice and through a session with a psychic believes that she dragged me into this life when I didn’t want to come and so I was angry with her. She also does hypnosis and believes to have found a memory wherein I turned my back on her in utero, at a soul level. I’ve come to recognize that these stories make me very angry because I can’t share them and because in them I play the role of rejecting her, before I was even born. I’ve come to realize that I don’t have to believe or accept her story as being true—except in the sense that it is her truth. I am sad because it makes our estrangement real. It will be hard or impossible to build a bridge since questioning her sense of reality is something she doesn’t accept. And it feels an impossible bridge to cross since accepting her story as true would be . . . a rejection of myself. But even through the sadness, there is another degree of understanding and acceptance. My story of our twinship is more one of enmeshment in teenage years following a move, and real struggles to find our independent identities and selves into adulthood. It was in early adulthood after a particularly rough patch in our twinship that my twin settled on this rejection story and one where are souls are not meant to be close. Twenty years later in our mid-forties I finally am feeling somewhat equipped to process it all. In large part thanks to your book and your posts. Thank you.
Being put into a position where one cannot voice one’s subjectivity or opinions is tremendously challenging. I am gratified that the writer has made peace with these circumstances so that she no longer suffers with guilt and sadness.