In light of our “new normal,” most of us had to make considerable physical and emotional adjustments to our work and home life. In particular, couples who have children and are working from home had to come up with innovative strategies to cope with these overwhelming circumstances. I have spoken with many twin families who are witnessing their twins develop different ways of relating to one another since being quarantined.
Twins are another kind of coupled relationship. Depending on their age and zygosity, they may actively make compromises to keep their connection afloat. Generally speaking, identical twins are more apt to make concessions than fraternal twins because their identities are so intertwined. Since fraternal twins usually have more distinct personalities, they tend to differentiate more from one another. While most twins fight, their conflicts are usually settled quickly and cordially.
A mom of three-year-old fraternal twin girls contacted me because she noticed a new dynamic that developed since her daughters were quarantined. One of the girls assumed a role as the arbiter of all activities. Her sister had to ask permission to play with a certain toy or watch a particular television show. Their mom had not previously observed this type of interaction at home, and this was never an issue in preschool either.
The mother and I agreed that the girls’ temporary tacit compromise evolved to facilitate their getting along while stuck at home together. While twins are blessed to have a constantly available playmate, they also face the challenge of finding ways to get along.
Have you noticed any changes in the way that your twins are interacting?