It stands to reason that many of us who enter the helping professions have a fundamental proclivity for being helpful, and we enjoy feeling needed and appreciated. In the case of psychotherapists, our professional training, our ongoing personal therapy, and our continuing education enable us to secure and maintain healthy boundaries with our patients. While we experience tremendous gratification and a sense of well-being when our clients are doing well, we are careful not to consciously or unconsciously demand that […]
Category Archives: Psychology
Rupture without Repair
Sadly, in my work with adult twins, I encounter some pairs whose relationship collapsed due to an inability to resolve competition and conflict. In many instances, the primary sticking points are perceived and real inequities among the twins. For example, who is wealthier, who has the bigger house, who has the happier marriage, who has the more successful children, or who is more physically attractive? Of course, different-age siblings might confront similar issues; however, with same-age siblings, the stakes are […]
Did You Hear What I Said?
I recently read an article in the New York Times called “You’re Not Listening. Here’s Why.” that resonated with me. It states that we do not listen attentively to the people with whom we are most intimate because we assume that we know what they will say and consequently how we will respond. Over the years, my husband often expressed frustration with me for that very reason, contending that I listen more attentively to my patients than to him. Admittedly, […]
The Quick Fix: A Simplistic Solution
A father of thirteen-year-old identical twin boys contacted me about one of his sons. He and his wife decided to send the boys to different middle schools to give them the individual experiences that both were lacking up to that point. However, after more than four months at their respective schools, one son was thriving while the other was not. Tom loved school, felt engaged and energized, and enthusiastically shared what he was learning when his parents picked him up […]
Defining Motherhood Your Way
When assessing a case of postpartum depression, I focus on the woman’s state of mind before, during, and after she gives birth. By talking with many new moms, I have found that the blues are attributable to disappointed expectations and overwhelming responsibilities related to childcare, work demands, partnership challenges, and household chores. A common feature of depressive episodes is a pervasive feeling of inadequacy. This can happen when we are adjusting to novel situations besides parenthood, such as going away […]