Tag Archives: advice

When the Bough Breaks

I realize I have written about this issue previously; however, each time this situation comes to my attention, I become terribly upset and feel as if I must educate others to take heed. A concerned mother of 15-year-old identical twins called me to ask for help regarding her daughters’ social woes and difficulties. She explained that they have no friends. Both girls feel as if they have made attempts to connect with their peers, but to no avail. When they […]


Don’t Kid Yourself—Are You Loyal, or Overaccommodating?

A few months ago I received an e-mail from a gentleman asking for marital advice. He had been married for four years to his wife, an identical twin. He described that his wife grew up in a terribly dysfunctional alcoholic family. She and her sister survived the ordeal by relying on one another. While I am not privy to many details, I have imagined or assumed what must have transpired to give rise to the marital difficulties. The husband described […]


Caretaking: Comforting or Controlling?

Many individuals who enter helping professions have assumed caretaking roles from a very young age. As children, they may have found themselves in a role reversal with no other recourse but to parent their parents. These children unknowingly give up their own needs to be nurtured, attended to, and soothed because they feel their job is to meet those needs for their parents. Because they lack healthy and secure parent attachments, many children in this predicament grow up without being […]