One of my patients gave me her copy of Lori Gottlieb’s book Maybe You Should Talk to Someone. I read it over the holiday break and found it engaging. I particularly related to two ideas that Gottlieb discussed: how to help patients “edit their stories” within the therapeutic milieu of dyadic coconstruction and how we psychotherapists can manage our personal upheavals to avoid inflicting them unwittingly on our patients. As Gottlieb pointed out, a patient’s presenting problem is sometimes just […]
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Help the Teachers Out
Wherever I travel to talk with parents of twins, I hear the ever-present complaint about teachers who cannot distinguish one twin from thee another. In fact, when parents read the teacher’s notes about each sibling, many parents realize that the teacher has no idea who is who. Apparently, the reports do not reflect the skills or personality traits of the twin who is supposedly being described. Twins’ families have trouble understanding why their children’s distinctness is lost on so many […]
Defining Motherhood Your Way
When assessing a case of postpartum depression, I focus on the woman’s state of mind before, during, and after she gives birth. By talking with many new moms, I have found that the blues are attributable to disappointed expectations and overwhelming responsibilities related to childcare, work demands, partnership challenges, and household chores. A common feature of depressive episodes is a pervasive feeling of inadequacy. This can happen when we are adjusting to novel situations besides parenthood, such as going away […]
What to Do When One Is More Like You
Having two same-age children makes relating to each one individually a challenge. Of course, that is the vital task for parents raising twins. We may be naturally inclined to identify more with one twin than the other because they are very different children. At times, we might identify with the one who is more like us or perhaps with the one who is less like us. Whichever is the case, being aware of our predilections is important so we can […]
If Truth Be Told . . .
Same-sex couples raising singletons or twins face the predicament of eventually talking about donor eggs or sperm. While some couples may choose not to divulge any information, others are convinced that providing an honest explanation when developmentally appropriate is the healthiest way to handle their children’s questions about their birth and biological heritage. While travelling home from Asia a few weeks ago, I met a gay couple who are bringing up three children—a pair of boy-girl twins and a younger […]